Wednesday 29 February 2012

Being kind and dutiful to one's parents - Shaykh ibn Uthaymeen

[Taken from Sharh ul-'Aqeedat-il-Waasi tiyyah by Shaikh Ibn 'Uthaimeen p673-676; Daar-uth-Thurayyaa edition 1421 (2000)]

And they [Ahl-us-Sunnah wal-Jamaa'ah] command with being kind and dutiful to one's parents

And this is because of the magnitude of their right.

And Allaah has not made anyone's right follow His right or the right of His Messenger except that of the parents, so He said:

وَاعْبُدُواْ اللّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُواْ بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

Worship Allaah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents [4:36]

So the right of the Messenger is included within the command to worship Allaah, because worship cannot be correctly established until it is based upon the right of the Messenger 'alaihi salaatuwassalaam, through loving him and following his way. That is why it is included in His statement, " Worship Allaah and join none with Him in worship ". How could one worship Allaah except through the way and example of the Messenger sallallaahu'alaihiwasallam? So when one worships Allaah in accordance with the legislation of the Messenger, then one would have fulfilled his right.

Then after this comes the right of the parents. So the parents undergo difficulty because of the child, particularly the mother. Allaah the Exalted said:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا

And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship [46:15]

And in another aayah:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ

And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship [31:14]

So the mother encounters difficulty during pregnancy and childbirth, and after childbirth, and the mercy and kindness she shows to her child is greater than that of the father for him. Therefore she is the most deserving of the people for one's companionship and kind treatment over and above even the father.

A man asked, "O Messenger of Allaah, who is the most deserving of my companionship?". He said, "Your mother". He said, "Then who?". He said, "Your mother". He said, "Then who?". He said, "Your mother". Then on the fourth occasion he said, "Then your father".

And the father likewise encounters difficulty regarding his children, and he worries about that which troubles them and he is happy with that which pleases them and he strives for everything that would comfort them and put them at ease and which would ensure that they have a good life. He would cross deserts and wildernesses to earn a livelihood for himself and for his children.

So both the mother and the father have a right, whatever you were to do for them in terms of actions, it would not fulfill their right and for this reason Allaah 'azza wajal said:

وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

And say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small." [17:24]

So their right is from before, in that they raised you when you were small when you were not able to benefit or harm yourself. So it is obligatory to show kindness to them.

And being dutiful to one's parents is an individual obligation by consensus. It is for this reason that the Prophet sallallaahu'alaihiwasallam gave precedence to this over jihaad in the way of Allaah, as in the Hadeeth of Ibn Mas'ood. He said, I said, "O Messenger of Allaah! Which of the actions is most beloved to Allaah?". He said, "Performing the prayer on time". I said, "Then what?". He said, "Being kind and dutiful to one's parents". I said, "Then what?". He said, "Jihaad in the way of Allaah".

The parents are the mother and the father. As for the grandfather and grandmother, then one must show them kind treatment, but it does not equal that shown to one's parents. This is because the grandparents don't undergo that which the parents undergo from difficulty, giving attention to and supervising their children. So showing them [the grandparents] kindness is obligatory in the sense of keeping the ties and they are the relations who are most deserving of this. However, regarding al-Birr, or showing kindness and being dutiful, then this is for the mother and the father.

However, what does 'al-Birr' mean?

Al-Birr is to try to bring about good as far as one is able, and to withold and repel harm.

Bringing about good in terms of wealth, serving them, and trying to make them happy by, for example, being cheerful, talking to them nicely and treating them well and trying to do all that one can to please them.

It is for this reason that the correct opinion is that it is obligatory upon the children to serve the father and mother, so long as this does not harm the son. So if it were to harm him, then it would not be obligatory to serve them, except in a case of necessity.

And therefore we say: Indeed obedience to them is obligatory in that which benefits them and does not harm the son. As for that which harms him, whether this harm is in terms of the religion, such as their commanding him to leave something which is obligatory or to do something which is forbidden, then there is no obedience to them in this; or if this harm is in terms of the worldly affairs, then it is not obligatory to obey them. As for wealth, then it is obligatory upon him to treat them kindly through spending freely upon them, even if it is a large amount, so long as this does not harm him, and this is not conditional upon his need. In addition the father is specifically allowed to take from the wealth of his son as he wishes, so long as it does not harm him.

When we reflect upon the state of people today, we find that many of them do not treat their parents kindly rather they openly disobey them and treat them badly. You would find someone being good to his friends and not tiring of sitting with them. However, if he were to sit with his father or mother for just an hour in the day, you would find him restless as though he were on hot coals. So this is not from kind treatment. Rather the one who shows kindness is one who opens his heart to his mother and father and serves them and is devoted to them and who has the utmost eagerness to please them with everything that he is able to do.

And as it is commonly said, "Al-Birr is an investment". For indeed if someone is good [to his parents], then he will receive a great reward in the next life, and he will even be repaid for it in this life. So good or bad treatment of one's parents is like, as is commonly said, "an investment", or a loan. If you had been good to your parents, then your children will be good to you, and if you had been disobedient to your parents, then your children will be disobedient to you.

And there are many reports, that from the people there are those who treated their parents well, and their children then treated them well; likewise regarding disobedience there are reports which show that those whose children are disobedient had likewise been disobedient to their parents.

So Ahl-us-Sunnah wal-Jamaa'ah command with being kind and dutiful to one's parents.

[Taken from Sharh ul-'Aqeedat-il-Waasi tiyyah by Shaikh Ibn 'Uthaimeen p673-676; Daar-uth-Thurayyaa edition 1421 (2000)]

Reported by Al-Bukhaaree in the Book of Good Manners, Chapter: Who is the Most Deserving of One's Companionship; and in Muslim in the Book of Kind Treatment and Keeping the Ties.

Reported by Al-Bukhaaree in the Book of Good Manners, Chapter: Kind treatment and Keeping the Ties and Muslim in the Book of Eemaan.

Sunday 26 February 2012

Ayaat concerning children

<O you who believe, save your selves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones...>


[at-Tahreem: 6] 

<And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Eemaan: to them shall We join their offspring and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything. Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned> 

[at-Toor:21]

<And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.">

[al-Israa: 23-24] 

<Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives...> 

[an-Nisaa: 36]



Providing for your family is charity

The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم said: If a muslim gives sustenance to his family and is content in doing so then it is a charity for him. [Bukhaari]

Allaah has taken the mercy from your hearts...

Ai'shah reported: Some desert people came to the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم and he asked them:

"Do you kiss your children?" They said, "yes." They said, "By Allaah we do not kiss our children." So he صلى الله عليه و سلم said: "There is nothing that I can do if Allaah has taken the mercy from your hearts."

[Saheeh Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim]

Umaamah bint Abee al-'Aas was on his صلى الله عليه و سلم shoulder...

On the authority of Abee Qataadah who said: "The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم came to us while Umaamah bint Abee al-'Aas was on his shoulder. Then, he prayed. When he bowed, he would put her down, and when he rose up from bowing he would pick her up." [Saheeh Bukhaaree]

O Allaah have mercy upon them...

On the authority of Usaamah ibn Zayd that the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم would take me and sit me on his thigh and sit al-Hasan on his other thigh and then hug them and say:


"O Allaah have mercy upon them, as I have mercy upon them." [Saheeh Bukhaaree]

I was a young boy in the house of the Messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم

'Umar ibn Abee Salamah said: "I was a young boy in the house of the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم and my hand (while I was eating) was taking food from every place on the plate. So, the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم said to me, 'Oh young man! Say bismillah, and eat with your right hand, and eat from what is close to you.' I have always eaten as he told me since then.' [Saheeh Muslim & Saheeh Bukhari]

Children and the Knowledge of Hadeeth - al-Khateeb al Baghdaadee

Muhammad ibn al Husayn ibn al Fadl al Qattaan narrated...that Miskeen ibn Bukayr stated: A man passed by al ‘Amash while he was teaching Hadeeth and said: ‘You are teaching these children?!’

Al ‘Amash responded: ‘These children are preserving your religion for you!’.

Al Hasan ibn Abee Taalib informed me that…I heard al Musayyib ibn Waadi’ saying: ‘Ibn Mubaarak may Allaah have mercy upon him, if he saw the children of the people of Hadeeth with pens in their hands he would draw them close and say: ‘These are the seedlings of the religion, we were told that the Messenger of Allaah - صلى الله عليه وسلم – said:
“Allaah continues to plant seedlings in this religion that He supports it with, they are youngsters amongst you today, but they may be the Kibaar [major scholars or elders] after you.”
Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Rizq informed us that…‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Ubayd ibn ‘Umayr said: ‘Amr ibn al ‘Aas stood at a circle of knowledge amongst Quraysh and said:

“Why have you discarded these children? Do not do so, make space for them in the circle, let them hear Hadeeth and make them understand it. Indeed they are the youngsters amongst you now, and they will soon be the Kibaar of others. You were once the youngsters of a people, and today you are the Kibaar of your people.”

Muhammad ibn al Faraj ibn ‘Alee al Bazaar narrated to us that…Zayd ibn ibn Ahkzam said: ‘I heard ‘Abdullaah ibn Dawood saying: ‘It is befitting for a man to force his children to listen to Hadeeth.’ He also used to say: “Religion is not by talk, indeed religion is only the Athaar [narrations].”

Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Rizq informed us that…an Nadar ibn al Haarith said: I heard Ibraheem ibn Adham saying: ‘My father said to me: 
“My son, study Hadeeth, for every time you hear and memorize a Hadeeth I will give you a Dirham.” So I studied Hadeeth upon that.” 
__________________
Ibn Abi’l-Dunya narrated this hadeeth in his essay al-Gheebah wa’l-Nameemah (Backbiting and malicious gossip), in a chapter entitled Ma jaa’ fi Dhamm al-Taqa’’ur fi’l-Kalaam (p. 15), in which he narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 
“That which I fear the most for my ummah is every well spoken hypocrite”



[ Sharaf Ashaab al-Hadeeth ]

Source: http://aa.trinimuslims.com/f14/children-and-the-knowledge-of-hadeeth-5702/

The Right of Children - Shaykh Muhammad Saalih ibn al-Uthaymeen


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Let us first establish that children in accordance to the Islamic concept means both male and female. Some of anti-Islamic concepts accuse Islam by differentiating between male and female children claiming that it does prefer boys over girls in terms of inheritance , ‘Aqeeqa (slaughter of two lambs upon the birth of a male baby and one lamb for a baby girl) and other matters. In accordance with true Islam teaching , both male and female are alike in the sight of Allah, the Almighty . Each , however, is physically prepared and equipped to perform certain task and duties that are suitable to his/her nature. All again are equal in religious duties , except for certain exceptions that are defined and illustrated by Allah, the Almighty, in the glorious Quran , or declared and specified by Allah’s Apostle (may Allah's praise and blessings be upon him). Only these differences are to be acknowledged and honored by in accordance with Islam and its teachings. 


Children in accordance to Islam are entitled to various and several rights. The first and the famous right is the right of being properly brought up, raised and educated. This means that children should be given suitable, sufficient, sound and adequate religious, ethical and moral guidance to last them through their entire life. They should be engraved with true values, the meaning of right and wrong, true and false, correct and incorrect, appropriate and inappropriate and so forth and so on. Allah, the Almighty, stated in the glorious Quran:


“ O ye who believes ! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is Men and Stones”. 66:6


Allah’s Apostle (may Allah's praise and blessings be upon him) also said: “ Every one of you (people) is a shepherd . And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family , and he is responsible for them” This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim.

Children, therefore are a trust given to the parents. Parents are to be responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgment. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral , ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.


If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Judgment . The children will become better citizen and pleasure to the eyes of their parents , first in this life, and in the hereafter .


Allah, the Almighty , stated in the glorious Quran :

“ And those who believe and whose families follow them in faith , to them shall We join their families : Nor shall We deprive them ( of the fruit) of aught of their works : (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds.” 25:21

Moreover, Allah’s Apostle (may Allah's praise and blessings be upon him) said :” Upon death, man’s deeds will “definitely” stop except for three deeds , namely: a continuous charitable fund , endowment or goodwill ; knowledge left for people to benefit from ; and pious righteous and God-fearing child who continuously pray Allah , the Almighty , for the soul of his parents” This Hadith is reported by Muslim.

In fact, such a statement reflects the value of proper upbringing of children. It has an everlasting effect , even after death.

Unfortunately, many parents from every walk of life, in every society , regardless of creed , origin , social and economical status , etc., have neglected this very important, this imposed right of their own children unto them. Such individuals have indeed lost their children as a result for their own negligence . Such parents are so careless about the time their children spend with no benefit , the friends they associate with , the places they go to etc., such parents, they do not care, are totally indifferent about where their children go , when they come back and so forth and so on, causing the children to grow without any responsible adult and caring supervision. Such parents neglect even to instruct , direct or guide their children to the proper way of life , behavior or even attitudes towards others. Yet, you may find these parents are so careful about their wealth . They are extremely concerned about their own business , work and otherwise . They exert every possible effort to lead a very successful life in terms of materialistic gains, although all this wealth is not actually theirs. No one will take wealth to the grave.

Children are not only to be well-fed , well-groomed, properly dressed for seasons and appearance , well-taken care in terms of housing and utilities . It is more important to offer the child comparable care in terms of educational , religious training, and spiritual guidance .The heart of a child must be filled with faith . A child ‘s mind must be entertained with proper guidance , knowledge and wisdom. Clothes , food, housing , education are not , by any means , an indication of proper care of the child , proper education and guidance is far more important to a child than his food , grooming and appearance .

One of the due rights of children upon parents is to spend for their welfare and well-being moderately. Over spending or negligence is not condoned , accepted or even tolerated in Islam. Such ways have a negative effect on the child regardless of the social status. Men are urged not to be miserly to their children and household, who are their natural heirs in every religion and society. Why would one be miserly to those who are going to inherit his wealth. They are even permitted to take moderately from their parents wealth to sustain themselves if the parents declined to give them proper funds for their living.


Children also have the right to be treated equally in terms of financial gifts. None should be preferred over the others . All must be treated fairly and equally . None should be deprived his gift from the parents. Depriving , or banning the right of the inheritance , or , other financial gifts during the lifetime of the parents or preference of parents for a child over the other will be considered in accordance to Islam an act of injustice. Injustice will definitely lead to an atmosphere of hatred , anger and dismay amongst the children in one household . In fact , such an act of injustice may, most , likely , lead to animosity amongst the children , and consequently , this effect in entire family environment . In certain cases when special child may show tender care to his aging parent , for instance , causing the parent to grant such a child a special gift , or issue him an ownership of a house , a factory , or a land , a farm , a car , or any other valuable items. Islam , however , considers such a financial reward to such caring , loving or may be obedient child , a wrong act. A caring child is entitled only for reward from Allah , the Almighty. Although its nice to grant such child something in appreciation for dedication and special efforts, but this must not lead to an act of disobedience to Allah, the Almighty. It may be that the heart and feelings of such a loving and caring child may change , at one point in time , causing him to become a nasty and harmful child. By the same token , a nasty child may change at any given time , as well , to become a very caring and kind child to the same parent. The hearts and feelings are , as we all know , in the hands of Allah, the Almighty , and can be turned in any direction at any given time and without any previous notice. This , indeed , is one of the reason to prevent an act of financial preference of a child over another. On the other hand , there is no assurance or guarantees that a caring child can handle the financial gift of his parent wisely. 


It is narrated by Abu Bakr, who said that Allah’s Apostle (May Allah's praise and blessings be upon him) was informed by one of his companions , al-N’uman bin Basheer , who said:” O prophet of Allah ! I have granted a servant to one of my children ( asking him to testify for that gift) ,” But Allah’s Apostle (May Allah's praise and blessings be upon him) asked him :” Did you grant the same to each and every child of yours ?” When Allah’s Apostle (May Allah's praise and blessings be upon him) was informed negatively about that , he said” Fear Allah , the Almighty, and be fair and just to all of your children . Seek the testimony of another person , other than me. I will not testify to an act of injustice.” This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim . Thus, Allah’s Apostle (May Allah's praise and blessings be upon him)called such an act of preference of one child over the others an act of “injustice” Injustice is prohibited and forbidden in Islam.


But , if a parent granted one of his children financial remuneration to fulfill a necessity , such as a medical treatment coverage , the cost of a marriage , the cost of initializing a business , etc., then such a grant would not be categorized an act of injustice and unfairness . Such a gift will fall under the right to spend in an essential needs of the children , which is a requirement that parent must fulfill.

Islam sees that if parents fulfill their duties towards all children in terms of providing them with necessary training, educational backing , moral, ethical and religious education , this will definitely lead to a more caring child, better family atmosphere and better social environment and awareness . On the other hand, any religious in that parenthood duties can lead to the loss of a child or ill treatment to a parent at a later age.


(Taken from 'The Essential rights')

Guidance For The Youth Of The Ummah - Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful The Bestower of Mercy

Abridged and Translated by:

[Abu Mu-aawiyyah (Abdullaah Al-Gambi)]


Shaikh Saaleh Al-Fawzaan stated: All Praise is be to Allaah Lord of the Aalameen, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our prophet Muhammad (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam), his household and his companions. To proceed:

The youth of the nation are the foundation of humanity upon which the nation is made to stand firm; and the young men are the successive generation to shoulder the responsibilities after their fathers. They possess bodily strength and are thoughtful, and they possess new talent not possessed by the elders. The elders possess wisdom and experience and the youth possess strength and vigour. Therefore, if the youth and the elders co-operate for the advancement of the nation, a lot of good will result from that.

On the other hand, if the youth disassociate from their fathers and elders, the devils amongst mankind and jinn will come in between them and their affairs; so, the youth will naturally drift away, the end result of which is detrimental to the nation. Hence, for this reason the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) attached importance in commanding the youth. He (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said to his uncle’s son Abdullaah Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu-anhu), whilst he was a young man:

‘’O young man, I shall teach you some words (of advice). Be mindful of Allaah, and Allaah will protect you. Be mindful of Allaah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask Allaah (Alone). If you seek help, seek help from Allaah (alone). Know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit with anything except that which Allaah has already recorded for you. If they gather to harm you by something, they would not be able to harm you by anything except what Allaah has already recorded against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried’’. (Recorded by Tirmidhee who said it is a Hasan saheeh hadith)

These (above) words are a path for the youth to traverse upon, because an advice given to one of (them) is advice for all. This advice comprises guidance for the youth with respect to their creed, behaviour, manners, reliance upon Allaah and belief in pre-decree. It is a tremendous and comprehensive advice.

Anas (radiyallaahu anhu) narrated: Once Mu-adh was riding behind Allaah’s Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) as a companion rider. Allaah’s Messenger said, ‘’O Mu’adh!’’. Mu’adh replied, ‘’Labbaik and Sa’daik O Allaah’s Messenger!’’ Again the Prophet said, ‘’O Mu’adh!’’ Mu’aadh said thrice, ‘’Labaik and Sadaik O Messenger of Allaah!’’ Allaah’s Messenger said, ‘’There is none who testifies sincerely from his heart, that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah, and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, except that Allaah will forbid that he is punished in the fire.’’ Mu’aadh said, ‘’O Messenger of Allaah! Should I not inform the people about it so that they may have glad tidings?’’ He replied, ‘’Then, they will solely depend on it.’’ Then Mu’aadh narrated the above mentioned Hadith just before his death, being afraid of committing a sin (by concealing the knowledge) (reported by Bukhaari No: 128 and Muslim No: 32)

This is guidance for the youth, as the Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) clarifies what is obligatory upon the creation of Allaah, and that is to worship Allaah (alone) without associating a partner to Him. This is the purpose for which Allaah created them. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’And I have not created Jinn and Mankind except that they should worship Me alone’’ (Dzaariyaat 56)

‘’The Rights of Allaah upon His Slaves:’’ They are obligatory upon the slaves and not that they have a choice to carry it out or not, rather they are obligatory.

‘’The Rights of The Slaves upon Allaah:’’ This is Allaah’s grace bestowed upon some more than others. It is not that anything is due from Allaah to anyone; rather He bestows this grace, and real grace belongs to Him (The One free from all imperfection).

‘’Except that Allaah will forbid that he is punished in the fire:’’ Indeed, this shows that Tawheed is a safeguard against destruction. It is either an absolute safeguard, (i.e. the person upon Tawheed will not be punished) or a safeguard against eternal punishment if he is punished for his sins; rather he will be removed from the fire and entered into paradise, as long as he is from the people of Tawheed and did not associated anything with Allaah. This shows that whoever associates anything with Allaah (The Most High) will be punished eternally. He will never have any happiness. Allaah (The Most High) said:‘’Verily whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allaah, then Allaah has forbidden Paradise to him, and the fire will be his abode. And for the (polytheists and wrong-doers) there are no helpers’’ (5:72)

And Allaah (The One free from all imperfections) said: ‘’Verily, Allaah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him (in worship), but He forgives other than that to whomsoever He wills’’ (4:48)

And regarding the statement of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam): ”That He (The Most High) is not to punish him who worships none besides Him;” Meaning: Everything that is set up as a partner with Allaah (in worship), such as a tree, a stone, a dead or living person, a jinn or a human, or idols, or Angels, or Messengers, or Prophets, or the awliyaa,…anyone who sets up anything as a partner with Allaah (in worship), then indeed Allaah will not pardon him, except if he repents. But if he dies upon shirk; he will abide in the fire forever.

And one day, the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said to Umar Bin Abee Salama,– whilst he was a boy under the guardianship of the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam), because the prophet married his mother after the death of Abee Salama and this boy was under his guardianship–; so when food was presented, the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said to him, ‘’O boy! Mention the Name of Allaah, eat with your right hand and eat of the dish what is nearer to you’’. This was guidance from the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) to this boy.

And he (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said in general to all the young men: ‘’O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, fasting will diminish his sexual power’’.

So, the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) commanded the young men to guard their modesty, either through marriage if they are able or through adopting measures that would weaken and diminish desires, fearing that they will be put to trial and out of concern for his ummah. This is an advice of the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) to the young men until the establishment of the hour and it is obligatory upon them to cling to it.

And he (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’Amongst the seven whom Allaah will protect with His Shade on the day when there would be no shade but His Shade, is a young man who grew up in the worship of Allaah’’

If he (i.e. the young man) grew up in the worship of Allaah, and was not overtaken by youthful excitement and the whims that lead the youth towards sin, rather he overcame that through obedience to Allaah, he will receive this honour on the day of judgement. Allaah will provide him with shade on that day of severe heat when the sun will be brought close. (On the) day when the people are drenched in sweat, Allaah will provide a group of people amongst mankind with Shade and included amongst them will be young man who grew up in the worship of Allaah.

Examine the statement of the Prophet sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) to Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu anhu): ‘’Acknowledge Allaah in times of ease and He will acknowledge you in times of hardship’’

So, if you worship Allaah and seek to get close to Him in times of ease, Allaah will rescue you when you find yourself in hardship and difficulty. Therefore, it is obligatory upon the fathers to nurture their sons, for indeed the young men will not be rectified except by way of certain means. And from the greatest of these means are:

[1]Righteous-Upbringing:

It is obligatory upon the fathers to nurture their sons upon obedience to Allaah. They are to nurture them until they grow up upon righteousness. However, if they are neglected, they will be nurtured upon heedlessness and the youthful whims, and thus become lost in society. This is why the Prophets (alayhimus salaam) used to supplicate for their sons and offspring.

Ibraaheem (Alayhis Salaam) said: ”O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salaat, and also from my offspring…..” (14:40)

And Zakariyyah (alayhis Salaam) said: ”O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation.” (3:38)

He (Zakariyya) did not merely say, ”grant me from You offspring” and then stopped at that, rather he said, ”Tayyiba”- good (i.e. a good offspring); because good offspring are offspring in reality.

The messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’When the son of Aadam dies, all his deeds are terminated except three: an on-going charity, knowledge from which others benefit and a righteous child who supplicates for him.” (Reported by Muslim). This takes place after a person’s death, but when he is a state of infirmity and old age, he is treated with goodness. The son he brought up upon good attends to him and supplicates for him. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘’My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’’ (17:23-24)

The child supplicates for them as a result of the righteous upbringing he was nurtured upon, and through which he attained happiness. So he repays their goodness with goodness. (Therefore) with regards to this is the obligation to protect children. Indeed, when a man wants to get married, he should choose a righteous woman amongst whose usefulness is that she is able to bring up children upon good. She is a place where the seed is sown and where children are begotten, therefore he should choose a righteous woman. The prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’A woman is married for four; her wealth, family status, beauty and religion. So you should marry the one with religion, otherwise you will be a loser.”

Neither look at her beauty alone nor he wealth; neither her noble origin nor her status amongst the people; rather you look at her Religion, because the religion combines all that is good. As for (looking at) other than her religion, then the woman will carry what will not bring about a praiseworthy end result. And with regards to her beauty, she seduces by way of it; and with regards to her wealth, she exceeds the limits in it; and with regards to her noble origin, she exalts herself with it above the man. As for the woman with religion, then nothing comes from her except good. If you are bestowed with righteous offspring from her, she will bring them up upon good.



Choosing a Good Name for the Child:

Likewise, the father is commanded to select a good name for the child. He should name him with a good name and not a repugnant name, because a name has an effect on the one it is named after, as it is said, ‘’everyone has a share from his name.’ The Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said, ‘’the best of names are Abdullaah and Abdur Rahmaan.’’ This is because they are names of servitude to Allaah, such as Abdul Azeez, Abdur Rahmaan, Abdullaah or Abdul Kareem……and so on; or name him Muhammad, Ali, Saalih and other than that amongst the good names. Do not name him with a name that makes those who hear it have a dislike of it, because a name has an effect upon the one who hears it and the one named after it. And due to this, when Suhail ibnu Amrin came to seek peace with the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) at the time of the Treaty of Hudaybiyah, the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said, ‘’ Now the matter has become easy’’ when suhail approached. This being in conformity with the name suhail, because without a doubt a good name has an impression upon the one who hears it and upon the one named after it.

The Aqeeqah:

Likewise, amongst the rights of the child upon his father: Is that he should slaughter a sacrifice for him. He should slaughter for the Aqeeqah on his behalf as an act worship and thanks-giving to Allaah (The Most High). There is seeking nearness to Allaah and being thankful to Him in this (sacrifice), and there is good in it for the newly born; because goodness is found in acts of worship. Therefore, he slaughters two sheep for the boy and one for the girl. This is an established Sunnah and there is goodness in it for the newly born. He (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’Every newly born is in pledge for his/her aqeeqah’’ (Reported by Abu Daawood. No:2831) The sacrificial slaughter, shaving of the head and naming the child are to be done on the seventh day, and these are amongst the means of bringing about goodness for the new born. The expense for this is to be undertaken by the father.

Elaboration: Concerning the statement of the prophet: ‘’Every newly born is in pledge for his/her aqeeqah’’

There are a number of views about its meaning:

(a) That the aqeeqah is binding just like the pledge.

(b) That the child’s correct growth and upbringing and his being a source of benefit is tied to the aqeeqah just as article held in pledge for a debt cannot be utilized until the debt is paid.

(c) That the child is prevented from interceding for its parents when it dies if aqeeqah was not performed for it. This saying is attributed to Ahmad (rahimahullaah) who declared a weak saying by Ibnul Qayyim.

(d)That naming and shaving the head are dependent upon the aqeeqah.

(e) It is a means of rescuing the child of being caught and ensnared by shaytaan – and this was the view preferred by Ibnul Qayyim in ‘At-Tuhfah’ (page: 49) [Source: ‘’Manners of Welcoming The New Born Child In Islaam’’ (page:53) translated by Aboo Talhah Dawood Ibn Ronald Burbank (rahimahullaah)]

Commanding the Children with the Salaah at Age of Seven

Likewise, it is obligatory upon the parents to implement the command of the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam), and that is: ‘’Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, beat them for it when they are ten and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.’’

The father is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock (i.e. the family), and likewise the mother is a shepherdess and one given responsibility. So, it is obligatory upon them to command them (i.e. the children) to pray when they reach the age of seven. Even though the prayer is not an obligation (at that age), however it will have a good effect upon them, so that they get used to it. Similarly, they are to be supervised with regards to sleep and not left close to one another, lest desires should arise between them, thus bringing about corruption. They are to be distanced from one another in bed and not to be left to sleep in the same bed. This is a preventative measure and as it is said, ‘’prevention is better than cure.’’

When the companions of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) implemented these affairs of guidance on their children, there emerged amongst them young men who directed and led the ummah towards knowledge, jihaad, learning and the call to Allaah (The Most High). (Young men), such as the likes of Ibn Abbaas, Ibn Umar, Abdullaah bin Amr bin al Aas, Mu-aadh Ibn Jabal and Zaid Ibn Thaabit……….. Young men amongst the companions, who are distinctly mentioned in Islamic history because they were brought up upon the guidance of the Messenger of Allaah (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) and upon the good nurturing of their fathers, which brought about good for them.

Therefore, we cannot seek uprightness for the children, whilst we neglect them; rather we carry out the means that will lead them to uprightness. As for seeking uprightness for them without carrying out the means, then this would be a loss. ‘’Whoever sought an elevated station without hard work, then he would have already wasted a life span in seeking the impossible.’’ The means must be carried out if you want your young men to be nurtured upon goodness and uprightness. Show concern for them and exercise patience upon that which may come your way of exhaustion with regards to their affairs, for indeed this is carried in striving in the path of Allaah. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’And enjoin (the prayer) on your family and be patient in offering them (i.e. the prayers)’’ (20:132)

Patience must be exercised. It would be far- fetched to desire that one’s son should become upright when one is complacent. One must exercise patience, hope for Allaah’s reward and have a righteous intention. If you carry out the upright means, then indeed Allaah does not cause to go lost the reward of the doer of good. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Eemaan: to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything. Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned’’. (52:21)

Allaah will unite the children with their fathers in Paradise, because their fathers brought them up upon Eemaan, obedience (to Allaah), worship (of Allaah) and goodness; so they followed and traversed their (fathers’) path. And on the Day of Judgement when they and their fathers enter Paradise, and the children take their places in Paradise and their fathers take a higher place, Allaah will bestow His grace upon the fathers by raising their children (to that higher station). And if the fathers are in a (particular) station and the children in a higher one, Allaah will bestow His grace upon the fathers and unite them with their children in Paradise as a source of happiness for them.



Specific Advice to the Young Men:

As for you O young men! It is obligatory upon you to pre-occupy yourselves. First and foremost, seek beneficial knowledge with the support of the scholars, be it the schools, the institutes, the academies or in the mosques. Attend the lessons of the scholars, those known for knowledge, steadfastness and fear of Allaah, and are free from bizarre views and strange statements. It is obligatory upon you to hold onto the upright scholars, those who direct to that which is correct. So take from them the creed, knowledge, manners, etiquettes and the correct methodology, which you are to implement in yourselves and in your dealings with others, for indeed the scholars are the inheritors of the prophets. And just as the young companions of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) used to seek knowledge from the Messenger of Allaah (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) and from the scholars amongst them, likewise, you should seek knowledge from the inheritors of the Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) and they are the scholars. Be acquainted with knowledge through its people, be it either in the schools or by attending seminars, lectures and religious admonitions or by reading the beneficial books.

Advice on the Right Methodology in Seeking Knowledge:

There are two paths of deviation at present with regards to learning:

Learning from books without referring to the scholars; this is a path of deviation and many have deviated as a result of it. He (i.e. the person) will either misunderstand what is in the books or understands in a way other than what is intended, because it has not been explained and made clear to him. The author (of the book) may be deviated in his views or knowledge and fills it with mistakes in affairs of knowledge. Then this ignorant youth reads and adopts it. Therefore, the books are not to be solely depended upon. And even if the books are sound, you will not be able to understand by merely seeking after it. The khawaarij were not misguided and misguiding others with their intellects and fear of Allaah, except that they disassociated themselves from the scholars and depended on their own understanding and that of those similar to them. They took instructions from one another, and thus they caused harm to themselves and to the ummah. This is the result for disassociating from the scholars.

I advise you to busy yourselves with beneficial knowledge with the support of the scholars, and that you avoid being absorbed and speaking about the people; backbiting, tale carrying, disparagement and slander. Indeed, this is evil that disperses, divides the youth of the ummah and causes them to become factions and parties. There are those who have no other concern except ‘’this one says and that one says that’’. Seek knowledge until you become acquainted with the truth. As for seeking after the mistakes of the people before being acquainted with knowledge, and saying, ‘’this person says and that one says, and be mindful of this one person and that one’’……….this is not a sound methodology;

Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’O you who believe! If a Faasiq (liar-evil person) comes to you with any news, verify it, lest you should harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful for what you have done’’ (49:6)

A Warning against the Callers to Misguidance:

O young men! Be warned against the callers to misguidance, because they are many today. The prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) warned against them. He (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’What I fear most for my nation, is those leaders who will lead astray’’ -and they are those who lead them to misguidance.’’

And he (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’What I fear most for my ummah is every hypocrite with a sharp tongue.’’ This is the one who possesses eloquent impressive speech, and he is able to promote his dubious views, whilst falsifying the reality and delivering it to the people. Then the ignorant one thinks that it is knowledge and proof, whilst it is illusion and deceit. So it is obligatory upon you to direct your attention to knowledge and acquire it from those who are well known to be well versed in it. Do not restrict yourself to reading books and listening to audiotapes, for indeed some of the people have taken these audiotapes for learning. And amongst them is one who reads a book or listens to an audiotape, and then says: ”I took from the book of such and such or from his audiotape”. This is a grave mistake. Knowledge is acquired from the scholars. As for these books, they are designated to the scholars. Questions are to be asked regarding them and explanation and clarification given; clarification with regards to what is found in them of truth and mistakes.

For example, if you want to learn about medicine will you read the books on medicine and then implement and give treatment to people based on what you have read? Perhaps this methodology would lead you to kill many people, because you are not a doctor, rather you are a fake doctor). And there is threat of a punishment upon the one who practices medicine but is not qualified to do so. Therefore, if this is the case with medicine, then what about the religion, whilst you have not obtained knowledge through a correct methodology; rather you learnt either by way of what you have heard from audio tapes and books you have read or what has been said to you….etc. This is not a path to knowledge.

However, we say: there is benefit in the books and tapes together with your sitting with the people of knowledge, and that you ask the teacher questions about what is unclear regarding what you have read or heard. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’And ask the people of the reminder if you do not know’’ (16:43). And the ‘’people of the reminder’’ are the scholars.

So do not depend on your understanding or that of other than you from those similar to you, or those beneath you (in rank or value); rather it is incumbent upon you to ask the people of knowledge. Allaah did not say: ‘’Ask one another’’; rather He said: ‘’Ask the people of the reminder’’ in particular. This is my advice to all the youth that they focus their attention towards beneficial knowledge and to acquire this knowledge from the scholars who are trusted with their knowledge. Some of the salaf said: ‘’Indeed this knowledge is Religion, so look to the one you take your religion from’’. Will you take your religion from an ignorant one or one who misguides others? This is not correct. Will you take your religion from a book? This is not correct. You do not take your religion except from a scholar who is fearful of Allaah. Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allaah’’ (35:28)

Therefore, take from the scholars who with two conditions: [1] he is a scholar and [2] he is one who fears Allaah. If he is a scholar but is not fearful of Allaah, you do not take from him; and if he is one who is fearful of Allaah, but does not possess knowledge, you do not take from him. It has been reported from the prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) that he said:

“Amongst the men of Bani Israel there was a man who had murdered ninety-nine people. Then he set out asking (whether his repentance could be accepted or not). He came upon a monk and asked him if his repentance could be accepted. The monk replied in the negative and so the man killed him. He kept on asking till a man advised to go to such and such village. (So he left for it) but death overtook him on the way. While dying, he turned his chest towards that village (where he had hoped his repentance would be accepted), and so the angels of mercy and the angels of punishment quarrelled amongst themselves regarding him. Allah ordered the village (towards which he was going) to come closer to him, and ordered the village (whence he had come), to go far away, and then He ordered the angels to measure the distances between his body and the two villages. So he was found to be one span closer to the village (he was going to). So he was forgiven”. (Reported by Bukhari)

All this good reached him as a result of submitting his questions to the scholar. As for the ignorant worshipper, then what comes about from him is known. This is the difference between the answer of an ignorant person and that of a scholar. And for this reason, he (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ”The superiority of the scholar over the worshipper is like the superiority of the moon over all the stars” (reported by Abu Daawood No: 3641)

So What Is The Difference Between The Moon And A Star? The moon illuminates the world for the people, as for the star its illumination is limited to itself. The worship of the worshipper is only for himself and the people do not benefit from it. As for the scholar, the benefit he has with him is extended to the people, just as the light of the moon is extended to the people. So do not forsake the scholars, rather it is obligatory upon you to receive them with acceptance. Take from them and submit your questions to them as long as they are alive amongst you. And neither depend on your understanding nor that of the ignorant ones and the fake scholars, those who have not studied under the people of knowledge; rather they are either self-taught or taught by those similar to them. The path of these ones and that of those who take from them is error, because they approached knowledge through other than its correct course. Allaah said: ”It is not (piety, righteousness) that you enter the houses from the back, but (piety, righteousness) is (the quality of the one) who fears Allaah. So enter houses through their (proper) doors, and fear Allaah, that you may be successful.’’ (3:189)

Therefore, knowledge is to be approached through its doors and not at its highest level; rather there is the affair of gradual progression from the easy issues of the religion to the difficult ones. As for those who take knowledge in one swoop and approach it through its highest point, these ones will not reach anything except ignorance and beguilement. And if only their ignorance and beguilement was limited to themselves! But the trouble is that they direct others, issue verdicts and speak about Allaah and His Messenger without knowledge. This is a sinful path; a path to seeking knowledge which is in the increase at present.

Stick To the Scholars:

Many of the youth have forsaken the scholars and do not take from them. The great trial and tribulation that came about from this has been seen, when someone appeared making claims of jihaad and that of knowledge, so there came about ruin, terror and killing in the land. This is the result of keeping away from the scholars. That is because those ones kept away from the scholars and went to those like them from amongst the callers to misguidance and the people of deviated views. So they brainwashed and informed them of these views. This is the result of disassociating from the scholars, the society, the jamaa-ah of the Muslims and their leader.

And when the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) informed Hudhaifah Bin Al Yamaan (radiyallaahu-anhu) about the trials, he said: ‘’O Messenger of Allaah, what do you command me if I come across that? He (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’Stick to the Jamaa-ah of the Muslims and their Imaam’’ (i.e. the Muslim Ruler) (reported by Bukhari No: 7084)

This is a safeguard from trials, but if you abandon the Jamaa-ah of the Muslims and their Ruler, then indeed you will be destroyed in the trials, just like what took place with those ones and their likes. He (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ”There are three matters, which the heart of the believer does not have an aversion towards: (That is), performing actions sincerely for Allaah, giving sincere advice to the rulers of the Muslims, and sticking to the Jamaa-ah of the Muslims. For indeed, their supplication encompasses them’’

And Allaah (The Most High) said: ‘’O you who believe! Have fear of Allaah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds)’’ (9:119) that is: be with the Jamaa-ah of the Muslims, and with the sincere scholars, and with the Muslim rulers, so that you may be safe from trials and confusing views.



Upon you O youths! Is that you preserve your time for that which is beneficial to you in your religious and worldly affairs; in seeking provision and knowledge, doing good to parents, fulfilling the obligatory affairs and keeping away from the forbidden. This is what you should be upon, for indeed it is the path to safety. Be warned against wasting your time with worthless things, the Internet or with the newspapers that bring about evil and are associated with deviated views.

Be warned against the callers to misguidance, those who prey on the youth and cut them off from their families and society, and inform them of confused views, and thus you find a young man disassociating himself from the state and his family. Then he distances himself from the mosques, the Friday and the five daily prayers. Then his whereabouts become unknown, until the reporters make an announcement about him being arrested or killed. This is the result of heedlessness and the actions of those youth who do not accept advice.

They do not adhere to the statement of the Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) regarding sticking to the Jamaa-ah of the Muslims and their Ruler, obedience and service to parents, observance of the Friday and the five daily prayers. They fell into the hands of their enemies when they neglected these affairs, and thus they were snatched and informed of these confused views, which put an end to their lives. It is difficult to rehabilitate even those who have remained amongst them, because the treatment of the brainwashed and the person with corrupt views is hard, just like the sick person afflicted with a disease that has no cure; rather corrupt views are worse than chronic illness, because chronic illness afflicts the body and as a result death is inevitable. However, the trouble with sick views and a sick mind is that it afflicts the religion and the creed, and there is no happiness after that, except if Allaah grants His favour to the one afflicted by it, and then he repents to Allaah.

Indeed, Allaah has power over all things. However, it is difficult for the likes of these ones to repent, because their intellects have been shackled with confused views. Allaah said: ‘’So when they turned away (from the path of Allaah), Allaah turned their hearts away (from the right path). And Allaah guides not the people who are Faasiqoon (the rebellious, the disobedient to Allah) (61:5).

This is a punishment for them. Allaah is able to guide them, but He (The One Free from All Imperfections) punishes and prevents them from guidance. Why is this case? This is because they rebel against the Commands of Allaah (The Most High), so Allaah punishes them. And the reality with them is that they neither repent nor return. This is a punishment from Allaah (The Most High).

And Allaah knows best

Source: http://salaficentre.com/2011/11/abridged-important-guidance-for-the-youth-of-the-ummah-shaikh-saaleh-al-fawzaan-hafidha-hullaah/

via:

http://www.salafitalk.com/threads/722-Guidance-For-The-Youth-Of-The-Ummah-by-Shaikh-Saaleh-Al-Fawzaan-(hafidha-hullaah)?highlight=raising+children

Thursday 23 February 2012

Tarbiyyah Open Day!

Tarbiyyah Primary School in West London would like to invite you to our:


Open Day!


Time and date: This Saturday 25th February 2012 between 1pm and 5pm (insha'Allah)


Venue: Cranford College, 680 Bath Road, Cranford, TW5 9QX


Tarbiyyah Primary School is a fresh and dynamic Ofsted registered Islamic independent school in West London teaching the National Curriculum as well as: Qur’aan and Tajweed, Arabic, Aqeedah, Tafsir, Islamic Adaab and Akhlaaq, Seerah of the Prophet, Islamic History and Fiqh.


Our classes for September 2013 insha’Allah will be
Reception (Age 4-5), Year 1 (Ages 5-6), Year 2 (Ages 6-7)*


We cater to Muslim parents who want to ensure their children receive a quality education, based on a firm adherence to the Qur’aan and Sunnah, in a friendly, caring and creative environment.


On the day you will have a chance to:


- see what has been happening at the school in its first year including events and activities and children’s work
- listen to a presentation about the school itself, our acheivements and goals
- voice any queries or concerns you may have about issues such as fee’s etc.
- speak to the teachers, staff and children who are a part of the school
- hear a LIVE LECTURE by our brother Abu Idrees Muhammed ibn Aslam who is a graduate from the Islamic University in Madinah regarding Raising Children Upon righteousness.


We urge all those who are interested in the school to attend regardless of their personal circumstances


Do not Miss this Chance to find out more!




Bring the family along. Entry is free however please contact us using the details provided below to let us know how many of you are coming to ensure you are guaranteed entry





Fully segregated. Refreshments available on the day


info@tarbiyyah.co.uk


Brothers: 07903 577 656
Sisters: 07946 722 619







*Please note that dependent on demand and logistics we may introduce Year 3 in September 2012 insha'Allah

Wednesday 22 February 2012

Audio advice for educating and raising children

Importance of Raising Our Children - Shaykh Saalih ibn Uthaymeen

 

 Raising Children in Islaam - Mustafa George

 

 The Harms of Sending Your Children to the Schools of the Non-Muslims - 'Umar Quinn

 

Advice for Educating the Children - Hasan as-Somaalee

 

 Children and Parent Conflict or Harmony - Aboo Khadeejah 'Abdul-Waahid